it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
