I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Pooping to opera.
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