It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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