I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
