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In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
