I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When are your genitals available?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize