...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
