Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
