Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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