That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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