So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you traded sex for a burrito?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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