If you die in college, do you die in real life?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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