Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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