I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
