The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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