I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
