he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
These tits shall not be calmed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
