Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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