Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
