i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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