i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
