Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
