so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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