you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
