what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
