I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
