is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
