She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
