My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
