The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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