so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
