I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
