What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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