Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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