So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
