I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize