I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize