that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
