at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
