You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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