i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
