These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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