It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
