Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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