he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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