I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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