**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
