no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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