Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
