im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize