ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And then he peed in my hair
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
