i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
