Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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