Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
