Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The police scanner is talking about you again....
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
