Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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