somebody snuck up and got me drunk
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
