Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
