have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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