There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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