After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
