I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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