So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
