You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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