I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
