They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
