I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
