Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
