Kiss
Puke
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
