Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize