Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
