I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
