Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
